yeah, I HATE TODAY, whatever
you guys, i have to literally stay awake all night tonight, and i don't sleep well normally so you'd think that wouldn't be such a big ask, BUT IT REALLY REALLY IS. a whole night is a long time, okay! it is totally different to just like, not being able to get to sleep til 2am on a regular basis. A WHOLE NIGHT IS SO MANY HOURS. D:

basically, i am not doing this for kicks as you may think, but i am going to poland for a week! and i'm excited, because i get to go to auschwitz and krakow and all these places that i have always wanted to visit, but i am also scared, as i have a real lameoid phobia of flying. and none of my close friends are going, as my sixth form is running like four different trips this week, so they're either skiing in france or visiting people's embalmed bodies in russia, i don't know. so if i panic, no one will be there to comfort meeee D: also WHAT IF I LITERALLY CAN'T GET ON THE PLANE? i mean, what would be the outcome? i keep wondering, but i would probably just go home and cry, most likely.

this long ramble is to say that hello! i won't be here for a week, i will be freezing my ass off abroad, panicking, or off my tits on vodka. maybe a combo of all three, it's likely. i have valium to take to get me there, actually, but i have never taken it before as usually i freak out just at the sight of planes landing, so i have skirted the whole travel issue many a tiiiiime. i am slightly worried what will happen? but it will be okay. basically i will be high as a kite from the moment i step foot in london at, oh yeah, 5.30 AM. i have to be at sixth form by FOUR. WHAT IS THIS MADNESS? i will be spaced out from lack of sleep and high and panicking? this is overall a terrible idea.

so, if anyone wants to help keep me up all night, that would be really really great! keeping in mind i am alone on valentine's day and very, very bitter. send me songs, send me fic, email me! maybe just send blank things this way as it nears the early hours to make sure i'm still awake. I AM ALREADY COLD AND SLEEPY.